a lot of things happen when you were away..

and not a moment pass without me thinking about u..
when people asked..
eh how u and her...
and i will just reply..
dont talk to me bout her..shes not worth it..
but deep down..
i know better...

i know you love him a lot..
and you told me that nothing can come between you two..
but hey..
i just cant help it...
i miss talking to you..
and i miss your R karat...
haiz..
i swore i delete your number from my phone..
its gone...
but i cant delete your number from my lecture notes..
cause i dont want to forget your number...

i wanna move on..
why is it getting so much harder each time?
i wanna say..
bye bye A..
and hello D..
will i have the strength and courage to do that..
hey..
it took me 2 yrs to move on from Q..
going to wonder how long this is gonna be...

nites...

been so tired lately..
assignments not done..
lazy go work..
everything just seems so unimportant..

"every time you pretend to love,
you impoverish yourself more and more.
Love has great potential to enrich your life.
But if you are just playing a role,
pretending to love,
it's only going to poison you.
Because you are teaching yourself that it's just a game,
and slowly but surely you will lose the capacity to open in love."

i couldnt agree more with the quotes above..
i feel myself getting more and more uninterested in these so called love..
and only find things that may just distract..
im losing myself..

and i know u wont read anymore..
but seriously..
i miss your presence...
even though im trying my best to move on and distract myself..
but its just too hard..
im scared A...

i feel calm whenever the conversation starts..
it makes me feel at ease..
and never fails to make me laugh..
ah belo jek..

life have been busy..
just the way i want it to be..
and as days go by..
the tiredness of my body..
grew stronger and stronger..
i need a break..
but when i have a break..
i wont be distracted anymore..
haiz..
life is full of contradiction..

nites..

well..
there are ups..
and then there are the never ending downs..
life just never fails to keep me entertained...

meeting my sec sch friends this weekend..
and if we were still talking with each other..
i would really like it if u can come along..
i really miss u A..

its been a week since i last went to iluma..
so freaking tired now..
my body just refused to let me do stuff..
all it wants is rest..
ouh well..
what to do..

nites ppl..

muhammad raif bin muhammad rashid..

this little devil had stuck with me eversince i came here..
cute la si kecik ni..

well trying to adapt to a new home..
hopefully its better this time..
and raif is disturbing me now..
nites..

everything in life seems broken now..
a horrible mothers day it had been...
and i dont think i will ask for more..
coz i had enough pain to last me for the rest of my life..

and u know who u are..
if u are reading this..
just so u know i miss u a lot..

haiz..
lets just continue with lifes routine shall we?
school..dikir...sleep..
school...work...sleep..
it sucks..
but at least it keeps me occupied..
nites...

i just remembered..
that time Zan told me pay was coming in..
and i said really?
and he said..
eh ko kerje tk igt gaji ehk..
and i could only laugh..
i dont work for the money..
but for the distraction...
bye ppl..

it hurts..
coz u left without any explanation..
haiz..

but hey..
we are and were nothing to begin with..
sorry i got too carried away..
so im out of your life now..
enjoy..
goodbye..